Men who suffer from erectile dysfunction, or ED, often feel a sense of shame. Moreover, the disorder can cause them to withdraw from sex entirely, which can have a negative impact on their relationships.

It’s important for partners to understand that a man’s ED is not his fault and that sexual satisfaction can be achieved in other ways.

1. Talk About It

Despite its prevalence, ED can feel like a black mark on masculinity and sexual partners can be hesitant to talk about it. Often, they’re concerned about their own role in the problem and might blame themselves for not being able to keep an erection.

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They may also assume that their partner feels differently about them or might be having an affair, which can lead to a lot of stress in the relationship. If you’re in a committed partnership with someone who has ED, talking about it is the best way to avoid further problems down the road.

While it might be uncomfortable, you can try to start the conversation with a doctor or sex therapist who can help you both understand the issue, identify the source of sexual performance anxiety and work through conflict resolution. Bringing the partner into the conversation can also reinforce that ED is a medical condition that isn’t something to be ashamed of or blamed for.

2. Get Physical

In some cases, a physical exam might be all that's needed to diagnose ED. But other times, doctors might need to order blood tests or talk with you about your medical history. If you have a chronic health condition such as diabetes, heart disease or low testosterone levels, your doctor might ask you to take steps to manage those conditions.

In the meantime, physical activity can help boost arousal. Try a dance class, hiking trails or join a soccer team. Getting regular exercise might even help lower your risk for ED, as it can improve blood flow to your penis.

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It's also important to communicate with your partner. You might both benefit from learning more about ED and what you can do to address it. And you might be able to help each other overcome any feelings of embarrassment or awkwardness. If you don't work through the kinks now, ED might push you apart later.

3. Get Help

Erectile dysfunction can impact people of all ages, gender identities, sexual orientations and partnerships. It is important that everyone has access to more reliable information about ED and is encouraged to seek help when necessary.

Some of the most common causes of ED are psychosomatic in nature and often relate to a person’s stress and emotional health. Those with ED who also suffer from anxiety, depression or other mental health conditions may benefit from therapy.

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Additionally, partners can sometimes internalize the belief that their partner’s ED is their fault or something they should fix. This can place added pressure on them, especially if they are not sure how to communicate their concerns and support their partner. A qualified therapist or sex educator could be helpful in getting the conversation started and dispelling myths. They can also teach couples how to modify sex and sexual pleasure to lessen the need for a firm or long-lasting erection.

4. Don’t Give Up

Erectile dysfunction can affect a person’s quality of life. It is important to talk about it and get help. A urologist or doctor can diagnose ED and determine its cause. They can also prescribe medication and offer counseling if necessary.

In addition, a therapist can help people to deal with the psychological issues related to sex problems. They can teach couples communication skills, reduce shame and stigma and help individuals to build more resilient relationships.

It is also important not to give up on sex in general. While it is difficult to have sex when you can’t get an erection, there are many other ways to feel close and intimate. Having a regular, light sexual relationship with your partner can be very satisfying and may even improve the symptoms of erectile dysfunction. For some, a change in diet and avoiding harmful habits such as smoking and drinking can help with the ED. A sex therapist can also teach people to have more intimate expressions of love in the bedroom without needing a firm or long erection.